some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
