Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
