I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
