I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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