people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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