watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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