Betty ford says i'm here all night
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
