She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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