Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
i need some magic done to my vagina
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
