Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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