I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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