.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
