So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
