Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
