Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
