My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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