he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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