I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
