I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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