Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize