i always forget guys have bellybuttons
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
