he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
