I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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