I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
