Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i would punch a child for taco bell
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Farmville is her only friend.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
