Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
