How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
