I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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