How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
