My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
