how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
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creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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