Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
