i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
