come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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