I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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