I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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