Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
