Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Randomize
