i can't believe i had my finger in that
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You dont lie about slip and slides
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All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
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How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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