i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
