the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
if only i could text you this smell
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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