Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
How's work?
Spinning.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
