I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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