Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
