i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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