You're completely useless in the revolution.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
