I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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