I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
