Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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