I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
