Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
