i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
