i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
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