Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
