My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
