if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
