guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
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I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
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So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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