yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
