got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
