Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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