Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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