He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
