is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
we made out on top of his cat.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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