So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
