Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize