woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
