I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
