I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize